Wow, it's been around 4 months since I last updated, I'm so sorry everyone for my lack of updating. I'll explain why now.

From around November things started to get much worse, I was restricting more than I had ever in my life. I was barely eating over 600-700 calories at best, which is similar to the rations people have been fed in concentration camps, to put it in perspective, 1200/1500 is needed for someone of my age to sustain life. I could hardly move as I had no energy, I felt ill, depressed, hungry, my weight dropped to around 43.9kg. I didn't go out, socialise. I was more miserable than I had ever been, I was hurting myself, I wanted to drop out of university and worst of all (and most terrifying) I thought about ending my own life. Christmas came as was a hard time for me, socialising around food was something that scared and still does scare me.

Then, somehow, I managed to change things. Well, at least a little bit. I can safely say that I eat normal portions and my weight has gone up to my previous healthy weight of 50kg or so. I've even been out and eaten meals with my friends and just yesterday, I went on a night out, something my anorexic brain does not usually allow me. While this has still been an incredibly difficult time, with resurfaces and resurgence of anorexic and depressive thoughts, I feel like thinks are on the up for sure. I'm on my meds again, and once they kick in properly it should help me to feel less on edge and depressed. I've still missed a lot of classes, especially the last two weeks as they've been very rocky for me. But, I know with a little more hard work and support from my friends, I can do it .

Thanks to my teachers for being understanding and not shouting at me for never being in class and not doing much work last semester 😂
Shout out to all of my wonderful friends, you know who you are, you're so incredibly important to me. I credit each and every one of you for helping me get through semester and keeping me alive, thanks for putting up with my incessant shit that I chat and my terribly warped sense of humour. Shout out also goes to my family as well for putting up and supporting me over Christmas, you're all wonderful and I don't deserve your support really, friends or family, since this has made me really treat some of you quite awfully. I'm sorry I let this get in the way, I'm honestly working so hard to beat this and my issues now. I'm properly engaging in the therapy I'm being given and I can feel improvements being made. Thanks for all your support ❤️❤️

P.S I passed all my exams and coursework despite the shitstorm that was my life back then, hoping to smash this semester and NEVER revert back to my old ways (but I can't make any solid promises)
P.P.S I will also actually update this blog now, sorry for being an arse and leaving it blank, I've explained why and hopeful I can keep you all updated with recovery progress highs and lows :)